Loss of identity

For many years, thought of myself as lawyer, mother, wife, recovering alcoholic, depending on the moment and what was going on in my world, what would be at the top of the list would be constantly shifting and rotating. Now, always at the top is cancer. With cancer, everything else if fairly irrelevant. If I am dead from cancer nothing else is possible. If I can't get proper treatment and care, nothing else is possible. I feel as though all I am is reduced to a patient, dealing with clinical settings and issues. My life has become narrowly focused, not the broad-based person I've always been, with many interests and activities. Too tired, too worn down. Although the avastin and doxil seem to have had positive effect, dropping 9 pounds of fluid since my treatment on wens. Not terrible side effects like the last chemo, icing my hands and feet like suggested, watching what I eat/drink, but fatigue is always there. Overall, just getting through the day is important. Planning my son's future is next. Maybe a trip here and there when I feel up to it. Cancer kills people, lives, dreams, and it is an epidemic that is running through our country unchecked and unabated.