Professional patienthood

Having now been through 23 chemo treatments, five of doxil/avastin, it is exhausting to manage symptoms and side effects and try not to have them. Although I thought I would done with the next treatment, I've now been informed that the treatment is working so well that we're going to continue indefinitely, until it stops working. So we will continue icing my hands and feet, feeling hostile everytime I see someone drinking hot coffee because I am not unless I want to suffer from mouth sores, and wearing clothes or shoes that I no longer wear because they are not comfortable, too tight, too irritating, and feeling constantly tired. Having a limited half-life and sometimes even less. Days trapped in the house because I don't feel well enough to go out. Finding shopping overwhelming, especially certain big-box type stores. Having to walk out of walmart one night knowing I couldn't walk through the store. Glad to be alive and still waiting for science to catch up to me.