Happy depressed

My husband often asks me how I am. Can I be happy and depressed all at the same time? When I was young I definitely knew depressed, as I was depressed and angry, having grown up in a dark angry unhappy household. Took me a long time to find a smile and laughter. Lightness and air to breathe. After my father died I started to write a dark angry hostile novel about it, but found it was taking me back into that dark depressing world. So I hit the delete button and vowed to write only happy things that make people smile. So, sometimes I feel yes I can be, happy to be alive and seeing my son spread his wings and fly, to do what I raised him to do, and be the best him he can be. I am happy to wake up in the morning and be alive. I am happy that I have a wonderful loyal loving husband who is my soul mate. I am depressed that I wake up to cancer, to not working, to the daily grind of being a professional patient, and knowing that I will likely leave my son and husband behind sooner than I planned. So there it is, happy depressed.