BC DC AC

Keep thinking about those letters: BC - before - what was my life before, full busy, healthy, cooking, working, traveling, caring for my husband and son, helping my clients. DC - during - still figuring this out. That I get up in the morning with no purpose but to get through the day with whatever I am facing, be it hospital, home, paperwork that has to be done or whatever. Looking in my closet and drawing a blank. Instead of dressing for court, office, meetings, or going out with my son or husband, now I just draw a blank on what to put on. Why am I bothering? Do I just live in sweatpants? Do I put on any makeup? Can't let myself go as it would just be too demoralizing, even more than I'm facing with everything else? AC - after - who knows where I'll be in five months, after 16 more rounds of treatment. Can't think about it. Living in the day.