Outsides and Insides

On days I have energy, I continue to clean out my closets and house. Its rather like my health. On the outside everyone says I look great but knowing that my insides are in disorder and disarray. Likewise, I cannot stand clutter so in coming in to my home, it is uncluttered and clean, but my closets and cabinets and dressers could be more organized. So, over the summer, the kitchen got the clean-up treatment. I cleaned out my walk-in, and am getting it a little more organized now, and as the weather turns chilly, am now getting to my sweaters, gloves and scarves and anyone who knows me knows I have lots of scarves. It always feels good to clean out, to get organized, to make room physically and spiritually for new experiences and fresh ideas. To rediscover old favorites, and realize its time to let go of unused or worn out items, to pass them along to others who can enjoy them (via ebay or gifts) or just donations. But I continue to wonder, when it is all over, kemosabe that is, what will I do with my life? Which organizations to get involved in? What way to support other people who have gone through this? Who to raise money for? D. and I discuss so often how, when someone is sick, they should not have to worry about money and how to pay medical bills. We are lucky to have medical insurance, and lucky that for years I paid for (and was able to pay for) private disability insurance which is now paying me back, and that social security is not challenging my disability. The stress on families is just overwhelming.