What is flux? 60 days out

After more than 60 days from chemo, I am still having problems with my hands and feet although not as severe as a few weeks ago. Definitely have more mental clarity, but still fatigue and not sleeping well all at the same time. If I exert myself one day, I may pay for it the next two days with fatigue. Keep moving a few things off my to-do list here and there, and hair is returning, eyebrows, eyelashes etc. But D. and I were discussing the fatigue this morning and he told me it as just because I am in flux - but what is flux? Is it positive or negative? We all hear that phrase but what does it really mean? It isn't flex, like flexible, flex-time. It isn't flax as in the material or linen. But what is flux exactly so I can know when I'm in it or not? Apparently flux is a flow like the flowing of the tides, but it can also be a rate of flow in laws of physics. A little too scientific for me. Tidal flow sounds better and is more me right now, some days I have energy and can focus, not how it used to be but better than it has been. Still not high tide, and not low tide either. So, being in flux is not a terrible thing and at least now I know what it is.

metformin - a go.

Well, the results are in. As expected I got the good hair genes and the bad brca genes from my father, along with the diabetic gene. Pre-diabetic I am, and now can take metformin as I wanted. Who knows, maybe it will prolong my life. Five year survival rate. Does it mean from diagnosis? From finishing treatment? We're never really sure. If it is from diagnosis, then my chances of surviving more than another four years are maybe 40%? Not seeing my son graduate from college is incredibly sad to contemplate. Just trying to stay live one day at a time.

To do or not to do Haircolor

To be or not to be red or blonde or ash blonde? No it's not Hamlet, but a major decision for we vain women, especially post-cancer. So here I am with my hair growing out post-chemo, getting thicker daily, the first time I've seen its natural color in about 20 years since I did start greying very early. Can't really reconcile putting more chemicals in my hair right now after working so hard to get through and detox from chemo and I am liking the grey. Just need about six more months of growth and a good haircut?

Very good research website

Seems to have new top articles every day. For those of us in the cancer world, it appears there is so much science going on, the future could change dramatically in the next several years. http://www.sciencedaily.com/news/health_medicine/cancer/

Different health priorities

Contemplating tomorrow's glucose tolerance test (three hours of drinking horrid sugary stuff) I've been thinking through all the health issues that just don't matter anymore. Do I really care about osteoporosis? This was always a huge concern of mine with aging, but don't really care anymore. Cannot imagine that this is a priority, or that I will stay live old enough for this to be a huge problem for me. Do I really care about cholesterol and triglycerides? Can't say that I do. Dying suddenly from a heart attack would be better and less painful then dying a long slow cancer death. I am still eating healthy and the way I've eaten for years, but because it helps me feel better now, not because of a fear for the future.